


Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

by sapphire2309



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't just erase every memory of something that changed you completely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the fandom_stocking challenge, for zarabithia (on Dreamwidth). Added a very little to it since the stocking.
> 
> Something of a tag for 1x09.
> 
> Title from the Snow Patrol song of the same name.

It takes a particular kind of self-destructive strength to see your worst nightmare at the back of your eyelids, every single day.

Melinda May sometimes wishes she didn't have that strength. 

More often than not, it's painful to relive every second of it when she just wants to bury it deep in a blackhole in the back of her mind. 

But it's too big, too important to obliterate. It changed her. You don't just erase every memory of something that changed you completely. 

It's also too big to deal with like a sane person.

So she lets it stay there. She's good enough to not let anyone see.

She can either carry on or let it kill her. And she doesn't let anything kill her if she can help it.

Even if it is unbearable sometimes. 

Time and Coulson have made it easier in small ways. 

Time with its convenient habit of going on at the same pace despite good times, despite bad times. It's a constant. She doesn't have many of those.

Coulson with his smile (he brings it out more often now, maybe dying has made him value life more?) and the occasional sparring (she wins, every time).

It's a load she's learned to bear. 

And sometimes, with the help of the family that chose her, a weight she can ignore enough to spray shaving cream into Fitz's hand.


End file.
